Mrs Marjorie Chedder
She/Her
59 years old
Typical
105 kg
Personality
Midge is unapologetic. She lived her life, and entered a stage where she just does not give a flying fuck about offending someone. She can be called hedonistic, abrasive and self-centered.
Deep down however… nope, never mind.
Deep down she is still hedonistic, abrasive and self-centered. She lashes out when critiqued and firmly believes that everything bad in her life is outside of her control and must be the fault of others.
But unbeknownst to her, even though most of the time she is just an aggressive, grumpy old lady, she still often manages to accidentally cheer people up, and give them the motivation to stick around and try harder in life for another day.
Appearance
White female, mildly- okay ver-... extremely overweight. Graying hair, originally light brown, now a mix of blonde and white. Often seen wearing sunglasses and what you would call a “resting bitch face”.
Seldom-spotted without her mobility scooter.
Notable Skills
Midge, despite the best attempts of Kraft Mac and Cheese, is a decent cook, and even better baker.
She has maxed out the gossiping skill tree, and has an uncanny ability to boss people around.
She has a sharp tongue and knows a lot of dirty jokes.
Background
The first chapter of Midge's story was so long ago that recounting her early years has become irrelevant. I mean she is a veritable dinosaur, right?
Mrs. Chedder - known as Midge to her friends - has it tough. She always had it rough. Like really, being a military spouse is not easy. Particularly if you have to fabricate a story about your husband - Alan - braving the Vietnam front. It’s not Midge’s fault that instead of a war hero, he was a radio operator out of Florida. But those other braggadocious cunts at church wouldn't get the difficulties of such life. See, I used a big word there. Braggadocious. How do you like that, twats, I went to school too. I mean Midge did.
See Midge wasn’t always so sour, but her life just got more and more stressful, with her husband detached attitude and the other wifes continuously grating on her, she turned inwards more and more.
In any case, when Midge eventually got divorced in the 70s, Alan ended up stealing the china, the house and even took the dog. Okay so, in actuality, Alan had a court order and changed the locks and requested the divorce after years of frustration. But that’s just semantics. Right?
Midge decided to bail, she moved to Braddock island and declared herself a widow.
She took no time in establishing herself as the neighborhood menace; she took over the church group and quickly wormed herself into the local homeowners association. She even set up strategically placed cupcakes spiked with too much baking soda for Janet, until she was forced to step down and allow Midge to take her place as the Head of the Homeowners Association.
She could be often spotted cruising around on her mobility scooter, making sure that everything is as it should be. Then as they colloquially say, shit hit the fan. Midge hasn’t been spotted since this mysterious sickness first appeared, so who knows what happened to her?
